Posted 2 years ago
“Destiny is in that fucking basket, do you want it? well do yah?”
I was a student once. I am a student again. I will forever be a student. For now lets go with the middle one. My studies to pursue a course in history have hit the religious wall, I apologise but I cannot stand Christianity anymore. Yes its a one of the main religions but the its messed like any other religion, the word of god has taken a mishandling by man. He has taken the word and shat out what he feels is the right version of what he believes is an ideal religion. I apologise for my crankiness, after nine hours learning shit about the reformation in Christianity, I have lost mind. If your reading this and happen to be a Christian please tell me one thing, are you Catholic or Protestant? Cause if had to choose it would be neither, got to believe in God your own way man!
Today I am going to explain my love for grey clouds and windy days, when I was a child I fell in love with days that had grey skies and bitter wind blowing in. It for me was the perfect day to change your destiny or make decisions, even leave the country on a spur. As I have grown older and tried to understand my love for these days, all I know is that I still love them. Its neither here nor there, the cold wind is a reminder of your humanity, it makes you feel alive and lets you know that decision have to be made. I suppose some part of me back then wanted to grow up badly and just leave home, some part of me now wants to go back then and tell myself to continue dreaming. I am happy at were I am but would the kid back then be happy with were I am? As I am explaining days, I might as well explain Japan days.
Japan days began when I was into Japanese music big time, when all I wanted to do was go to Japan and somehow have an awesome time. Certain days in the year bring back those memories that I have associated with the weather, you still following? When they do occur, I get a profound sense that somehow I missed an opportunity, that I should have run away along time from family and just headed to Japan. I suppose I still believe that if I decided tomorrow to head to Japan, that I could actually make it, that people would help me reach one destination to the next. Once I got there though what would I do? Probably help Japan rebuild. I don’t like to look back at life, always felt that you can only look forward but sometimes I do take a sneak peak back. I remember all the dreams I use to have and how many of them I have accomplished. I am not sad about it but happy, I am attempting to become a History teacher, working hard in a job that has taught me the importance of education and I still feel like sleeping. I am going to keep this baby short, need to sleep! night night.
